The Whys of love… (?!)

September 16, 2006 § 1 Comment

Love is not for the strong hearted I have come to believe. It turns the spine to mush and any inherent sense of self is eternally damned to oblivion. Falling and never rising in a giddy instance, what utter loss of control.

Is it that life makes one stand away from the loveliness of truth… how truly with a fewer TV channels and greeting card companies more of us might quite entertain / contemplate life as single Individuals? Cynicism towards romance is such an unpardonable urban sin.

Spinsterhood is a vice one cannot indulge in. A winner always sports a worthy spouse or at least a delectable wallet. One cannot give up on the lack of inspiration or the insipid efforts at attraction marring the urban love scene. My faith in city life stems from my store of freedom through the years I’ve lived in one. But my cynicism spawns from this insidious need for a date, mate who is often a capricious fruitcake sort whom one is forced to keep company with or worse chase, to be “in” with the times. There exists this sense of incomplete ease until there is a man to “love” or at least hang upon in doting appearance of love till the real thing hits you like a ton of bricks. Some old voice in my head says its what people do to fend off the private demons of their loneliness.

But, oh to have found love and lost it! This love, such a bleeding dream reducing reality to a small worm in the world of uncertain emotion. So easy to lose all grip of one’s morbid sanity in this game of chance that truant love may finally surrender to me and reverse my state of stupid sentimentality. So long a while have I fallen that I hold on to a burning tree with no direction or inclination to leap away from it. All this because I threw myself headlong into the arms of a childish whim and rode on the wings of my fancy! Such a hefty price on the head of a pilgrim, come seeking a home from the chilly winter of the world’s cruelty to ones’ self? Little hope survives in my being to counter this fostered cynicism towards such an inconstant love that constantly teases and frightens me senseless. How painful can one thought become, though born in the heart of a sweet promise! Why such harshness in the warmth of a faith so strong? Why this anguish and unbearable misery? Why the masochism…? Oh, why love at all… if not to warrant self-destruction? So mortally fallen…

Because the world is round it turns me on
Because the world is round…

Because the wind is high it blows my mind
Because the wind is high…

Love is all, love is new
Love is all, love is you

Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry
Because the sky is blue…

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