October 28, 2006 § Leave a comment
All this running about without direction or worse with a deluded intent of pursuing success, shouting advertisements to make me want things I don’t really need, folks spouting words of a sanctimonious moral timbre to shake the personality out of me and the despicable importance given to mundane normalcy. The alienation, loneliness, confusion and loss of control over your life will go away. I hear it takes time, but doesn’t everything? Maybe you just get used to the situation and the familiarity breeds a comfort zone. No choices really then, just a passage of time to learn about the eccentricities of your life’s character. The less and more of it, the good and bad, the shortcomings and benefits all empathized and weighed in careful measure.
Sound cynical? Unnecessarily dramatized? The side effects of being alive in this time, place, and circumstance. So painfully aware of the pettiness of my inconsequential whining… life cant be that bad, considering one survives the day and wakes up to another. Some might say, there is a choice. My supposed individuality resonates, yes-yes always! The question is: What does it mean? Do you wait to become what you want/should be or find peace by coming to terms with what you are – today, now, in this instance. All the time in the middle of these two states that goes by in unspeakable mental squalor. I must seem an ingrate to complain about these looped duties and moralities invested in my life. The holds that keep sanity in check and stabilize social existence. So very difficult is this philosophical optimism to surrender and yet survive it all.
To look life in the face.
Always to look life in the face and to know it for what it is.
At last to know it.
To love it for what it is, and then, to put it away.